I guess I should have seen it coming since Joshua has been less and less interested and nursing for shorter and shorter times but it seems that we are done now. It is very bittersweet for me, another one of those moments to remind me he really isn't a baby anymore. In so many ways he still is but this is one more way that he isn't and I'm adjusting to it, slowly. I was always the one to offer, but then again I'm not sure he's at the point when he could tell me he wanted it yet. He would only nurse for a few minutes so I knew he wasn't getting much but I wasn't ready to give it up yet. Last weekend he bit me and drew blood on one side. Then on Monday it happened again. I tried to pump for the first time in 5 months and got less than an ounce. That's when I knew we were pretty much done. He fell asleep Tuesday night laying in bed with us watching tv, poor baby is dealing with the same allergies we are and has been congested since Sunday. It was so rare for him to fall asleep like that. It was another way I knew we were done. I always wanted to go the baby led weaning route and I think we have to some extent, there has been no trauma to him, it's been harder on me for sure. I'm so proud to have made it this far.
I can remember back to the early days of nursing him as a newborn and not thinking I'd ever make it but I did and wouldn't change it for the world. I know I did my best and gave him the best start. It's hard but worth it. The pride I feel knowing that I nourished him before and after he was born, that he only needed me to survive his first year isn't measurable. There was a study done recently that said that if 90% of US women breastfed thier babies for the first six months it would save $13 billion dollars (not including formula) and 900 lives of babies, I can only hope more women try because it's worth it, our babies are worth it. 75% of women start out breastfeeding at the hospital but only 14% actually make it to 6 months.