A blog I've been following prefaced a post with an honesty alert, well I think I should do the same. My blog is usually just about big things going on in our lives. I don't go into much detail about the day to day and I certainly don't talk about me or my emotions. Well, I think it's time for a change. Not that I will be doing it all that often but events lately have got me in a mood.

I've been feeling rather blah lately, maybe more than lately. Ever since Joshua started early intervention my life hasn't been exactly peaches and cream. First it was just physical therapy, now we're doing speech and occupational. I have really been feeling like I need to be doing more. I am hoping that we are on the right track with the OT we found in Hartsville who we will be traveling the 2.5 hours round trip to see once a week for now. He is also on a waiting list for Total Rehab SC to go there for OT but it will be at least October before that happens. There are other similar places I have called but they all have waiting lists at least as long and this one is the closest to our house. In the meantime he will be getting a new OT who has some sensory experience but that will be a few weeks. I have called OTs who are experienced in sensory and none are available right now, apparently they're in very high demand in my area. Basically an OT usually works on fine motor but we need one who will also address Joshua's sensory issues.

For a long time I felt like we were in a holding pattern, I didn't know what else to do, I was so frustrated. Since Joshua started early intervention it has pretty much been my life, I handle most of it so my husband can do what keeps him just as busy, his business. Joshua is my own little business. I read books and do research on the internet about what else we can do for him. Then I try things out with him. The OT has us working on improving his grip and of course we're trying to get him to walk. Joshua is very, very stubborn. If he does not want to do something you can stand on your head and he still won't do it. The PT wants him to use his walker but if he doesn't want to he won't stand up and I can't make him. Same with any other type of therapy. I want him to pull the rings off his ring stacker but if he doesn't want to he won't do it, he knows I want him to do it so he goes to play with something else. It's frustrating and heart breaking. I want nothing more than for him to do the things other kids his age do but what more can I do? That's what I am always asking myself, what else can I do? I would do anything for him.