It seems impossible that it's been 2 years and at the same time, it feels like it's been forever since I've heard your voice, but I can still hear it in my head and I'm thankful for the videos I have so I will always remember. I hope, as I have since that fateful day 2 years ago, that you are at peace. I miss talking to you, we could talk about anything and everything and we did. I miss your advice, I could ask you about anything and you would always know what to say. I still miss you but I am still thankful that you did not have to live through the past 18 months. How could we have known that 8 months after you were gone that the world would turn upside down? I can only imagine how difficult that would have been for you. You would have been so isolated no matter where you were living and we wouldn't have been able to see each other and you wouldn't have been able to see Joshua, I know that would have broken your heart. I have thought about that a lot since this all began in March of last year. I can't imagine if you would have ended up in the hospital, we wouldn't have been able to be there. I can't imagine not being able to be there to hold your hand and see you and talk to you. I am so glad we were able to be there in person throughout your entire hospital stay and that you weren't alone. Of course there are caring people at the hospital but they're not your friends and family and I'm so glad we were able to be there.
So as for the last year, as I told you a year ago we were in the middle of the pandemic. All of our summer plans had to change. Joshua didn't go to camp, we didn't go to camp. Everything was done virtually. We were supposed to go on our big trip to Florida to go to Disney World, Discovery Cove, and Sea World and of course none of that happened, everything was closed. Things have since opened back up but with the mask ordinances that are still in place and most places requiring them and Joshua not being able to wear one, we have been pretty isolated. We did go to the beach last summer because I couldn't imagine a summer without doing something especially the beach, it is truly Joshua's happy place. The rest of the summer he spent doing therapy. Then school started back up virtually and a week later than it was supposed to. Joshua actually stayed virtual for the entire school year. He was the only one in his class to do so, most of them went back by spring break. Then at the end of October we switched ABA therapy companies from the one we had been using since he started ABA to one that is run by a former employee of that company and several of the therapists have moved to this company from the other one including one that Joshua had and still has and she now comes to the house and she lives 5 minutes from us!. He also goes to the clinic 2 days a week for this summer and has been going since March on Fridays since Fridays were half days. Joshua turned 12! I can't believe he's going to be 13 soon! I really and truly cannot believe it! We didn't have a party, this is the first year we didn't. Debbie and Tony came down one weekend and we were actually all together for 24 hours. We went to a local farm that has playgrounds and a corn maze and that was kind of his birthday celebration. The rest of the year and into this year was pretty much the same. Joshua had therapy and school at the house and some of the time it occurred at the same time so that his ABA therapist could help with school. Joshua got better with doing school virtually and he got the Most Likely to Embrace Challenges award at the end of the year. Also he is done with elementary school and I can't believe that either! We have chosen the virtual school for next year since masks are still required in school and we don't know when that will end and also he has to do a certain number of hours of ABA to continue doing ABA unlike with the other company who just reduced his hours this company requires a certain amount of hours to continue services. He is talking so much more! I really feel like this year has been good for him. I got to see what he can do and while he was more isolated (as many people were) he is talking more and interacting more and actually having two way conversations! He will ask you how you are doing and wait for your answer and then answer your question! He did this several times a couple of weeks ago while we were on vacation and my heart just burst! I got to see what he could do in regards to school with reading and math so I understand him more and can be more knowledgeable with his teachers. He had a sweet teacher this year and also got to work with a different teacher while she was out on maternity leave. Because of the school year being moved back a week we actually were on vacation for the last week of the school year but were on virtually so he didn't miss a single day of school! We're planning on doing the same thing next year but he'll only miss 3 days of school because we'll be gone the week of Memorial Day (it's cheaper that way with our timeshare). Then last weekend we went to Tweetsie in North Carolina to Day out with Thomas. So things are starting to open back up. Mask ordinances have been lifted and it's only certain places they still want you to wear them. So it's nice we can be out in public again. I hope they lift them in more places and we can eventually go to Florida and to Disney World like we had planned. The Sunshine Foundation who is giving Joshua his dream trip announced they were cancelling all trips through 2022, I hope that doesn't turn out to be true but I haven't heard otherwise. They did offer to give families who were scheduled to go on their trip a certain amount of money to do their own trip or something else but we wanted to stay in their cute village so we're going to wait until it opens back up. Camp Burnt Gin is virtual again this year. I want to go back to the beach since we aren't going to camp but I haven't booked anything yet, of course Jamie doesn't want to take the time off this big job he's got going on. I can't imagine just being home the rest of the summer when we're used to Joshua going to camp and us going to camp and neither of those is happening for the 2nd summer in a row. So we'll see what happens. I like to think you know all of this but I also like telling you. I hope you know what is going on with us but maybe not everything going on in the world because it's been such a sad year. Things are starting to get better and I hope they continue to. I am still in touch with Esther, she messaged me on the day of your Yahrzeit to say she was thinking of you and of us. She still sends Joshua gifts on some of the Jewish holidays. I saw a post from Steve on Facebook last fall that they were moving to New Hampshire or Vermont by the end of the year. I assume that happened but I don't know for sure. I haven't heard from either of them in a long time, I'm sorry we haven't kept in touch but I have tried. I do get texts from her sister Susan every so often asking how I'm doing and she says she misses you, and Esther always says that as well. Esther has been so sweet. I hope one day I get to meet her. I have sent her photos of us, I don't know if you ever had but I wanted her to see Joshua and also sent her some of you and me because I thought she might like to. I participated in a virtual event for daughters who have lost their moms and it was very nice. I included your photo and photos of us and wrote a little something for it. It was very nice.
So that is a bit about what the last year has been like. Like I said, I like to think that you already know. I like to think that you watch over us and "visit" us even if we aren't aware. I miss you and think of you often still. I love to talk about you and remember things we did together. I like to keep your memory alive. I hope I am doing a good job. I love you always.
